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We have reached the close of another semester at Ball State University. It has been a pleasant experience so far. As I look back on this semester, I feel I have learned so much. Each professor I had was enthusiastic about teaching their particular subject. It has encouraged me to be present in class everyday and to obtain the knowledge they bring forth. I know that I need work on my writing. I feel that it is coming along.

   With finals approaching it is time now to see what knowledge has been learned or how much we as students paid attention during the semester. I must say that this semester finals are much more than they were at the last university I was at. I must buckled down and make sure I am reading for each and every class final. Organizing the time I feel is so important. Making a list, and following them.

   I have noticed that each professor I have has laid it on thick as the semester ends. I have learned that are teaching us to make us the best students possible. I have learned to quit whining and get it done to the best of my ability. The professors have taken the time to present the material, it is up to us to retain as much as possible. I believe as students sometimes we want to much done for us.

     Look at the syllabus these professors have set up. It took time to get it together to prepare each student for the class. In my case I felt I wanted to give my best in doing homework. As my mother always said when she was alive and that was to be the best you can be. Work hard to be on top. She also stated that if your best was mediocre, then so be it as long as you gave it your best. So as we approach finals, my hats off to each professor I have had at Ball State so far. You have given me the motivation(which is rare for me to receive) to make the best of it. Thanks to each one of you.

In reading the New York Times tonight, I ran across an article entitled " Strangers may cheer you up". The first line in the article written by Pam Belluck turned me off a bit. is says," How happy you are may depend on how happy friends' friends' friends are, even if you don't know them all. My comment to that is, first of all I feel no one can create happiness for you unless you let them. I feel one should be in control of themselves and not so dependent on others to make them happy whether it is purposely done or nonchalantly. Even if in the article it states that happiness is more contagious than previously thought. We are or suppose to be in control of ourselves. When we rely on others to create happiness or whatever in our lives as I see it, they can control us. The article goes on to mention the fact that cheery neighbors can have more affect on us than our spouses mood. I dont know how many will read this and who are married or have been married but a spouses mood can do wonders or blunders in a home. Your neighbor many not have an effect on you if you spouse is in a rotten mood. I have experienced that situation.
    Acoording to Belluck, Happiness can depend on people choicesand action and not your own. i dont know whether to agree with this. i feel in some aspects this could be true. If someone lost a love one we can realte to that, even if you have been through that yet. We all understand as adults that death is not easy and can have a huge affect on us.
    There were questions raised by a study done by Dr. Nicholas Christakis, a physician and social scientist at Harvard Medical school. In his study that he had done from 1983- 2003 proved people become happy because of their social contacts or some unrelated reason. Several who reviewed the study stated their were limitations. One point that was brought up as I stated earlier that a spouses happiness has more influence on an individual than a neighbors. I do agree with the point that was made, stating that " people take emotional ques from same gender". I feel men do understand men better as women understand women better. I only say this because we as men and women do think, act, and say things differently in most situations. The book has been written entitled Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. We will never understand fully the oppsite gender. We can only appreciate them deeply. And I must include this thought, not taking away from the previous thought I just made. A friend, neighbor could be overjoyed for getting a big raise, whereas the friend's, neighbor could be jealous and not show happiness. So I end this with asking, can starangers happiness truly cheer us up?.

Spending the holidays alone as I get older seems a little tougher to handle they when I was younger. I know each person who spends the holidays alone deal with it differently. I can only speak about me, and how I feel. With the holidays approaching, I always get the feeling I want to hibernate until the holidays are over. I believe the reason is because I do have a friend that has opened me up to see and do more. Before I met them, I was one and to stay to myself. You would have to be someone that I truly trusted for you to be considered a friend. Also the holidays brings  sadness because my mother is not alive. I think of her often during this season. Not that I have memories of holidays growing up, just the fact as I become an adult, the time that was spent just talking and spending time with her. She was my best friend, and confidant. Looking at  where I am now, it has a effect that doesn't seem to ease. Thinking about the joy of families getting together for a feast has become a distant memory. I guess this is all of part of living alone, the trials and test that it brings. I am not looking for self pity, or oh feel sorry for me. I want this blog to make one appreciate those they celebrate with during the holiday season. Waking up everyday, I am thankful, I celebrate that daily. It just  gets to me, knowing another year alone. I have decided to create my own happiness during the holiday season. It is  a time to be grateful and thankful. In years past I have actually cried as the holidays approach and throughout the season. It takes something within to get through. When you see the joy of others, it makes me want to share a piece of joy with someone. Last year my friend came over and we gave thanks together. It was uplifting, we are planning to do it again this year. No guarantees yet, but it seems possible. Without or without, I still need to create my own joy and not let the holidays get to me. Because I was so close to my mother is the biggest effect the holidays has on me. Losing her will never be easier. Not having her her, or to be able to call her will always be a challenge to handle. As she would tell me if she was here, is to be strong, keep moving forward, let nothing stop you from gaining that which you want to obtain. So this year I am working towards not feeling down, but happy. The joy must come from within, it is something noone else can give you.